it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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