If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
