I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
