so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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