I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
