There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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