you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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