smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My underwear smells like fireworks.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
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And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
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We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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