Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
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