billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
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how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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