this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
