What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
