in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
