Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
