So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
