I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
