break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
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I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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