if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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