What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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