dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Found the puke drawer
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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