yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
