You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
