Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
