I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
