Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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