The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so let's talk penis.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just high enough for therapy.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
