38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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