party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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