im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
