wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
