Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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