he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
