I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
