plz talk dirty to me
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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