I accidentally had phone sex last night
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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