Sponge bath it is.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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