it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
