you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
