The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
