wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
