hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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