When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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