i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
