The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize