DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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