the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize