I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Green mimosas i think yes
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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