I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
