I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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