when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
