She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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