Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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