You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
