I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
