This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
