Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
