Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
