i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
