thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
