So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
