I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
