she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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