Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
