i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
