you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
